🎉 Become a Top Wine Influencer Taster (TWIT) in Just 3 Easy Steps! 🎉
Tired of being just another face in the crowd? Want to elevate your pretentiousness to new heights? Join our exclusive course, "How to Become a TWIT," and for a one-time fee, paid in recurring never-ending installments of just $900 plus other charges, you can transform into the internet wine influencer you've always dreamed of being now and then and knew you could be known as then and now!
What You'll Get:
🍷 Master the Art of Self-Obsession: Learn how to take selfies with your wine glass at the perfect angle to showcase both the amazing wine label and your impeccable taste and amazing face. Remember, it’s not about the wine; it’s about you and your amazing face or amazing feces (editor note - correct spelling before publishing).
📸 Perfect Your Wine Pour Videos: Discover the secrets to making every pour look like liquid gold. We’ll teach you how to create those slow-motion videos that make you look like you actually know what you’re doing. Change the color of the wine to suit you and your audience, just like mega-purple.
📱 Social Media Domination: Get step-by-step guides on how to flood your followers' feeds with endless stories of your wine adventures. Hashtags, filters and humble brags included. Remember to tell everyone that you are the most amazingly humble person. Amazing.
💬 Memorize Meaningless Jargon: Impress your audience with phrases like “This wine has piquant yet rich nut oils, freshly cut garden hose and newly opened cans of tennis balls.” We’ll arm you with all the buzzwords you need to sound like an expert without actually knowing anything, like “Cripsty.”
If you do not believe in studying but instead think that wisdom and knowledge arrive via osmosis through the liquid itself entering your body and somehow teaching you, then this course is for you!
Do you have no experience of how wine is made or tastes but want to present yourself as an expert? Do you like being drunk, drinking lots of wine and have an excuse to do that as a career? Do you want to release your inner TWIT? Do you want to gain a little knowledge in a few hours online each week and then become a certified TWIT? Then sign up!
Special Bonuses:
The #WineWednesday Playbook: Never run out of content ideas with our comprehensive guide to making every Wednesday a celebration of your wine wisdom just because both words start with the letter W.
Exclusive Access to the TWIT Community: Join a network of like-minded TWITs who are as obsessed with themselves as you are. Exchange tips, like each other's posts, and even collaborate on joint vanity projects.
Testimonials:
"I used to be a nobody, but now I'm a TWIT! I think that my followers can't get enough of my daily wine updates!" - @dustytoplip
"Thanks to this course, I’ve mastered the art of looking sophisticated while saying nothing of substance at all. Cheers!" - @Wineplonker
“This product has changed my life! My skin has never felt so soft, and the refreshing scent lasts all day. Wait, this isn't the testimonial for the shower gel, is it…it's for the wine thing? Well, that’s ok, I do have soft skin."
@littletommytanninpowder
Act Now! Spots are limited. Transform your life and become the Top Wine Influencer Taster (TWIT) you were born to be. Click here to sign up now and start your journey to ultimate pretentiousness.
Because why drink wine when you can flaunt it?