Starting them young!
A report from the Bureau of Grape Unification Strategies (BOGUS) has sent shockwaves through the wine world: global wine sales are plummeting.
Millennials, Gen Z, Lay-Z, Preparation H and the Skibidi-Y are turning to craft cocktails, mocktails, micro-fi-stable water and flavored milks - leaving the wine industry grappling for relevance like a free-climber on the Gherkin.
In an unprecedented move, the think-tank assembled a task force of brilliant - and questionably qualified - masterminds to tackle the crisis head-on.
Their conclusion? Get kids into wine early on to save the wine industry!
